Batman - or Bad Man?

The Batman P.R. juggernaut suffered a mild set after reports the Caped Crusader - aka Christian Bale - allegedly hit his mother and sister.

I've not yet seen "Dark Knight," although I may have to wait until the DVD release. While my oldest boys (ages 6 and 8) are excited about it, I think this is one film dad may have to pre-screen for them.

I don't ordinarily follow the celebrity gossip. In fact, I think Alex Rodriguez - the New York Yankee star whose divorce proceeding have included a spice of Madonna - is making a positive career move by signing with the William Morris Agency.

But the news is too good of material for my warped funny bone to pass. So now I offer the top 8 reasons Christian Bale (allegedly) hit his mom:

No. 8 - He was still buzzing from the effects of "Joker Gas."
No. 7 - He blamed her for giving getting teased in school by fellow classmates Agnostic and Wiccan.
No. 6 - He caught her wearing the Bat suit without permission.
No. 5 - She told him any man who wears a cape is a wuss.
No. 4 - She drank the last can of Bat juice.
No. 3 - She complained that he can save Gotham City, but he can't call her for Mother's Day
No. 2 - She ranked him No. 3 Batman of all-time, behind Adam West and Val Kilmer.
No. 1 - She liked "Iron Man" better.